


Bizarre Family Dynamic

by Anonymous



Category: Channel Zero (TV)
Genre: F/M, Half-Sibling Incest, Unhealthy Relationships, fuck tom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:55:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26687767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: What should have happened at the end of episode 5.
Relationships: Jillian Hope Hodgson/Ian
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5
Collections: Anonymous





	Bizarre Family Dynamic

**Author's Note:**

> Originally titled 'Channel Zero is full of weak cowards who don't understand the trajectory of their own stories'.

"It's okay," Jill whispered down to the choking baby. It tried to cough but couldn't, didn't have the strength. A tear fell on its cheek and Jill gently wiped it away, brought her shoulder up to wipe at her eyes. "I'm right here."

The door opened behind her.

Jill wasn't sure who she was expecting but wasn't as surprised as she should be when she saw Ian there, covered in blood.

She jerked, ready to get up, run, take the baby, RUN-- the baby gave a soft, kitten cry and when she looked down she saw divots where her arms had tensed around it. She loosened her hold and it almost reformed, but not quite. It cried out again, choking on milk-white blood. 

"Jill, did you make that?" Ian said. His voice was...odd. She forced herself to relax, to stay calm for the baby, and looked up at him. He looked at the child with awe.

"Ian, what are you...why are you here?" Jill asked through her tears.

"I heard you."

"What? I didn't say-"

"No, I mean. I felt you. You were in pain. So I came back." His eyes never moved from the baby and his expression never changed from...from something she couldn't understand. Wouldn't understand. "You made that?" He asked again. She turned away from him, bent over the baby to try and shield it from his gaze.

"It's beautiful," he said.

Jill looked up, shocked, but there was no deception in Ian's face. There wasn't room for anything but that all-encompassing emotion that terrified her but she didn't know why.

"I...Tom and I did. It- I- I think it's dying," Jill said and couldn't stop the sobs.

"No, Jill, shh shh, it's okay," Ian said, instantly at her side. He gently, achingly so, brought his hands up to curl around the baby's head but didn't touch it, like a halo of his hands.

"We can fix it." His eyes broke away from the child for a brief moment to catch with hers. "We can save it. Together."

And then he looked away, back to the baby, and Jill finally let herself recognize the look in his eyes: love. Pure, uncomplicated love.

"Yes. Please."

Ian nodded and brought his hands up to wrap around her biceps. "Together now, okay? Just like before, but I'll be with you every step of the way. I won't leave you alone."

Jill nodded, closed her eyes, and tried to find the space between holding tightly to the child and being soft.

Tried to find the space between being firm and being lenient.

Tried to find the space between being angry and being lonely.

The space between hope and loss.

The space between love and fear.

Outside of herself she could feel her body twitching, jerking, going out of control. Before that terrified her, that loss of control. But now, inside herself, she could feel she wasn't alone. Ian was here. He wasn't leaving her. He wouldn't, even those times she wanted him too.

_He'd always be there._

A sharp, ear-piercing cry filled the air.

Jill opened her eyes. In her arms, crying with healthy lungs, was a perfect little baby. Or- almost perfect. Down one side of his arm, where she had squeezed too tightly before, his arm was pressed in, the bones malformed, and his hand was curled in a tight ball. But he cried with all the tenacity of a newborn who knows only how to ask for help.

"Oh, shh shh, it's okay," Jill said, bringing him closer and rocking him. "Shh, you're alright. I'm right here."

She looked up to Ian, who had his own tears in his eyes. He brought a hand up and softly brushed the baby's cheek with the back of his finger. The baby's cried dimmed but didn't stop.

"He's so beautiful," he whispered.

"You...You don't mind?" Jill said.

"Mind what?" Ian asked. Their eyes met and he just smiled at her.

"It- he's here because. Tom and I- he's- It's not a part of you."

"Hey, no, why would I..." Ian stopped, closed his eyes and shook his head. He re-opened his eyes and carefully, waiting for her to pull away, brought his forehead closer to hers. "He's part of _you_ , Jill. That makes him- the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Jill could feel her chin tremble and she ducked into Ian's shoulder to hide her face and she sobbed into his neck. Ian brought his arms up and around her, and in his arms she felt the same sense of warmth and home as she had with Pretzel Jack.

The baby quieted in between them.

"Don't leave us," Jill whispered.

"I won't," Ian said. "Never."

**Author's Note:**

> ooohhh yeah channel zero 'the trauma you experienced as a child is dangerous and the only way you can survive is if you kill your past and never feel bad things again', v original, definitely not something we've seen a million times before.
> 
> god i'd like to see a story where the coping mechanisms you used are treated with respect, even if they were harmful. they got you to who you are now and yeah sometimes you have to let them go but they're not MONSTERS. They were the tools you used to keep yourself alive and you should never, ever be ashamed of them.
> 
> (also her coping mechanisms were RIGHT and led her to the TRUTH and no one ever fucking mentioned that Tom literally did the EXACT THING SHE WAS TERRIFIED OF and then GASLIT HER when SHE! WAS! RIGHT! fuck tom)


End file.
